**Things Aren't Always as They Seem**

        A few weeks ago we headed to church...15 minutes late...but our favorite seats on the back row were still open! I believe in the church and I LOVE the gospel--it has brought so much joy and happiness into my life, but going to church on Sunday hasnt always been my strongest spot. ANYWAY--- as we were sitting there trying our best to keep our little 1 year old entertained I couldnt help but noticed (and hear) the other family on the back row. Our chairs were far into the church gym and her kids (who were old enough to know better) were literally screaming, running, and being very disruptive despite the mothers best effort at trying to keep them quite. She was frustrated. This family also looked very "new" to our church. I dont want to go into much detail, but you could just tell they hadnt been active very long. I wanted to help. I wanted them to fit in and feel loved and accepted--but what could I do? I looked over at my beautiful daughter who was now content in Daddy's arms while eating fruit snacks--FRUIT SNACKS--my answer! I pulled out a handful of fruit snacks and kept glancing over to the family to find my best opportunity to lure the kids in and give them fruit snacks if they promised to give their Mom a break. I kept glancing. No opportunity yet. The kids are getting really restless now. Glance. Glance again--the Mother is staring me straight in the face as if to say--"Dont judge me." But I dont care because she doesnt know I am going to HELP her! Im excited. Im so glad I came to church today. Glance again...ready to take action..........

And the Mother quickly packs up all the kids stuff and drags them out of the meeting.

Suddenly my heart breaks.

Did I offend them? Did I glance one to many times and now they are never coming back to church because the Mormons are judgmental (just like they had always thought), rude, and did nothing to help an obviously struggling mom. Was I going to be the story she tells all her friends about coming to church and not fitting in and everyone stared at them? When all I really wanted to do was.......give them fruit snacks?

I will never know why she quickly got up and left church that day. Maybe it was simply because she was fed up with the way her kids were acting (we've all been there) and decided to take the kids home. But maybe I was the reason? If I ever get the chance I will apologize to this lady--and explain the fruit snacks--maybe she wont even remember--but maybe she will.

I often times think that we--as a human race--are too quick to judge! I have recently started to go to the gym--a place were I feel totally out of my comfort zone. I go alone. I wear baggy basketball shorts and an old t-shirt from high school. Thats what I feel comfortable in. I quickly realized that I am out of place. Most of the women that I see are in skin tight tanks with a perfect body and booty shorts--with the occasional older women in a long sleeve retro sweats and killing it on the stair stepper. The men ALL know what there doing--ripped to perfection and walking around tall and proud--with the occasional over weight man on the treadmill with his hoody on and sweating bullets. The same people--EVERY NIGHT--so I feel like I have a huge target on my back that says: NEW. AND OBVIOUSLY DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

When I go I think--

"These people probably think Im crazy for coming to the gym--look at me I look disgusting."
"I hope my love handles arent bulging out like they were at home when I looked in the mirror."
"I feel like everyone is staring at me. Like they are "judging" me. I dont belong here."
"I can barley do a ten minute mile? I better cover my time up so people dont know how bad I suck."
"I wish I could weigh what I did in high school...and I thought I was overweight then...HA"
"Maybe I should double up my sports bras...I feel like the girls are out of control...I know people think I look stupid running with the girls bouncing all over the place."
"I dont belong here."
"How does this machine work? Im not even going to try...I will look like a fool."

My question is: Are THEY judging me--or am I judging them?

The longer I have been going to the gym, the more comfortable and confident I have gotten. And I realize (just like church) these people are NOT judging me. In fact they are silently cheering me on! They are thinking--you got this girl! Yeah I see those love handles but I also see you doing 100 crunches--dont worry they'll start shrinking...you got this girl! And how do I know this? Because I am the one that notices the "new girl." And I can see the fear in her eyes...and I want to go up to her and say--"YOU GOT THIS GIRL!"
 **By the way I have only been going to the gym for a month so dont think Im the chick in the tank and booty shorts--Im still in my basketball shorts and t-shirt and have a long ways to go** But I have tried to change my thinking---Things arent ALWAYS as the seem.
My baby is awake from her nap---so I guess this post is done. I had SO many different directions I wanted to go with it, but maybe short, simple, and to the point is just what it was meant to be.
Think positive!